Seeking A Mate
This information can be found originally in the Revelations of Awareness
newsletter, issue number 481 on page 10. Revelations of Awareness is
published by Cosmic Awareness
Communications(http://www.tezcat.com/Cosmic.Awareness/cachome.htm). For
subscription information, email CosmicC…@aol.com
3/7/96
How Can Women Attract Worthwhile Males?
Question:
A question from Jane C., Tucson, AZ. She writes: "I’ve been receiving your
newsletter for over a year now and still can’t wait to devour it, as soon
as I get it. I’m so hungry for ‘real’ information that strikes a chord in
me, instead of the usual sludge that comes out of the mainstream media.
This is the first time I’ve written to you, although I’ve wanted to many
times.
I’ve picked a topic very common among women I know, seen on TV and read
about:Relationships. Many women like myself try to live moral lives,
loving others in an accepting generous way only to attract men who become
abusive and steal from us. I come from a loving family was never abused as
a child, and in other aspects of my life, own a successful business and
have many good friends.
"When it comes to men, I’m a total failure and working on my second
divorce. WHat are some concrete steps women can take when dating, to see a
man as he really is, instead of the person we create in our minds while in
a romantic haze? And how can we attract men that respect us and treat us
as equals?"
Cosmic Awareness:
This Awareness suggests that the first step is creating a proper attitude
toward men in general. This Awareness indicates that this requires that
you look at men in a realistic way rather than as an expected behaviour to
fit into your particular mold or design for the man you want in your life.
The Awareness indicates in other words, rather than hoping and thinking
that this man may fit your criteria for a good mate, look at the man for
what he is. Discover the man you are with, rather than expecting him to be
what you want.
THE PROBLEM WITH MEN WHO GREW UP WITHOUT A FATHER FIGURE
This Awareness suggests that you should expect the entity not to be what
you want, and let yourself be surprised if he is. This would be a better
attitude, because there has been an entire generation of men who were
raised without proper male models as guides. This Awareness indicates that
this generation of men who have grown up without a father figure has
created a generation of men who rely on women for their support.
First it was reliance on the mother, because the father had either
abandoned the family, or the mother had kicked the man out, or otherwise
it was a fatherless family, and the child grew up without a proper make
model. This Awareness indicates that the entity does not know what a
provider is, what protector is. The entity does not have in his experience
the role of a proper father figure, one who provides for and protects the
family.
MANY MEN VIEW WOMEN, LIKE MOTHER, AS SERVANTS
This Awareness indicates the entity does have those qualities of
self-importance, and thinks that the proper attitude is to present a
posture of self-importance and therefore, the entity will protect his ego
against any kind of criticism or assault, if criticized by a woman. He
looks at a woman as a servant in the same way he viewed his mother as a
servant. This Awareness indicates he may appreciate his mother, but he
still sees her as being a kind of servant.
A GENERATION OF WIMPS NOW SEEK NURTURING
This Awareness indicates that most women raise their children trying to
give them what they can, particularly if there is no male figure in the
family, to the point where the mother becomes the provider as well as the
nurturer, and the boy growing up in such a family, without a male model to
fashion himself after, sees women in the role of providers and nurturers,
and therefore, when they search for a mate, they simply want someone to
take care of them, want someone to provide for them and to nurture their
physical needs.
This Awareness indicates that this is not the kind of man you would want
or should have as a mate, and it is not easy to help such entities to
mature, to become a proper father figure for the family. This Awareness
indicates that in other words, there is a generation of wimps who are
macho in their expression, but wimps is terms of their ability to handle
responsibility and commitment.
This Awareness indicates that you should expect this kind of thing out of
men because 6 of 10 men will be this type of person. This Awareness
indicates that therefore, do not hope for too much from the man you meet,
regardless of his appearance and his suave behaviour or his charm, or
whatever else attracts you to him.
WATCH WHETHER HE KEEPS COMMITMENTS
This Awareness indicates that the next thing is to watch how he treats you
in terms of his commitments. If he says he will meet you at a certain
time, does he keep those commitments or does he stand you up? If it
happens once, and there is good reason for him missing his appointment
with you, that may be excusable, but if it happens repeatedly, then you
know this entity cannot keep a commitment. His word is not trustworthy,
and he may have very little respect for you.
If the entity expects too much from you, expects you to do different
things to help him complete his comfort zone, wherein you are expected to
comfort him, to nurture his appetites and needs, then you may have a wimp
whom you must mother along and satisfy in terms of his every desire. This
Awareness indicates that this is not a good sign. If the entity respects
you and does not try to force his appetites on you, but allows you to have
your own self-worth and appreciates your self-worth, then this entity may
have something worth continuing the relationship for.
UNFORTUNATELY A GENTLE MAN TURNS OFF THE FEMALE
This Awareness indicates that often women turn off the gentle person, the
one who is respectful of them. They feel the man is not macho enough, and
rather than recognizing that the entity is relatively sensitive and
considerate, they see him as weak and catering to his needs, and they may
miss out on a good relationship because they think that a more macho-type
man is a better protector.
This Awareness reminds you that most women need protection from their own
mate more than from any outside threat, and therefore, the macho man may
not be the best one for them, but it is one thing to understand that
logically, and quite another to understand it emotionally, and often
entities get involved much too soon in their intimacy and their
relationships before really knowing who they are involved with, and
therefore, logic and understanding go out the window and emotions control
them.
IT IS BEST TO LET THE HEAD RULE, RATHER THAN THE HEART
This Awareness suggests that perhaps entities should let their head rule,
rather than their heart, for the heart can always follow when you have a
good understanding of someone’s true worth. This Awareness indicates that
in other words, being cautious about the man of your dreams, so that the
man is evaluated before the dreams begin is the best approach for entities
such as yourself who want something meaningful in a relationship.
AN ENTIRE GENERATION OF MEN HAVE BEEN DAMAGED
This Awareness indicates you should realize that an entire generation of
men have been damaged. Approximately 60 percent of them have been damaged,
almost beyond repair. Therefore, it is important for entities to be very
cautious and to know what kind of man they are dealing with before getting
too intimate with them, for the woman has the most to lose in an intimate
relationship. The man can simply walk away and state to himself: "She
tried to trap me! And no one can trap me! I’m a free soul! A free spirit!
And therefore, it’s her problem and not mine!", and men will leave the
woman pregnant or with her heart broken, or both, without so much as a
twinge of guilt.
WOMEN TRY TO CONTROL MEN THROUGH SEXUAL RELATIONS
This Awareness indicates that for many men, women are just there to be
used for their own gratification. This Awareness indicates that much of
this problem for the woman is caused by the woman’s sense of values
because she also looks at men as something that she can control. There is
a tendency among many women in today’s society to think that they can
control men through the use of sex;that men want sex, and therefore, by
giving them what they want, the man will be controlled by the woman. The
problem is that the woman doesn’t stop to think: There are many sources
for sex, and the man does not need to depend entirely on your sex for his
gratification, and often feels that if it is too expensive in terms of
demands on him, he will just walk away and find sex elsewhere.
BE LIKE GRANDMA – KNOW THE MAN BEFORE YOU SLEEP WITH HIM
This Awareness indicates that the problem with this kind of thinking for a
woman is that she often loses because she failed to anticipate that the
man does not hold her sex in as high esteem as she holds it herself. The
Awareness indicates therefore, this Awareness wishes to caution entities
to think more in terms of the older standards, the standards that your
mother or grandmother were raised with, whereby you do not commit yourself
sexually until you know whom you are sleeping with, and whether this
entity is truly worth your surrender of your honor and affection.
How To Attract Men That Treat Women As Equals
Follow-up Question:
Is there anything a female can do to attract who like she says "that
respect us and treat us as an equal". Was that included in Awareness’
statement?
Cosmic Awareness:
This Awareness indicates that you only receive respect to the degree that
you respect your own honor, your own rights, your own self. If you truly
respect yourself, you will not let others who are disrespectful treat you
in a disrespectful manner. And if you respect yourself, men will then
sense that you are someone to be respected, and they will treat you with
greater respect.
This Awareness indicates that if you have no self-respect, if you simply
want to have someone hug you, love you, make you feel special, for a few
instances, a few moments, a few weeks or for the night, then your instant
gratification can easily be fulfilled without much difficulty, but the
karma that follows is that which you may not want. It may be extremely
difficult for you, and such repeated behaviour in which you do not respect
your virtue, your self-respect and honor, can lead you to become less and
less self-respected, and therefore, others also will not respect you.
THE NEED TO RESPECT YOURSELF, YOUR HONOR AND YOUR VIRTUE
This Awareness indicates that It cannot emphasize the need enough to
respect yourself, your honor and your virtue. Without virtue, without
self-respect, men see only a means by which may for moment be extremely
powerful, needing release. This Awareness indicates that if you are simply
this kind of woman, you are likened unto simply letting yourself be a
vessel for the man’s urges, and there is no relationship of significance
involved.
This Awareness indicates, however, if there is self-respect and you demand
certain respect from the entity, that will make a different kind of
relationship, one that involves a certain standard of behaviour from the
man. This Awareness indicates that you may think of it in terms of not so
much seducing the man or letting the man seduce you, but rather think in
terms of making the man come up to certain standards if he is going to
have a relationship with you, and set those standards well ahead of time,
for your own clarity, so that you do not cater to the appetites of some
man, but rather you live by certain standards and create a situation in
which the relationship can only evolve when those standards are met.
This Awareness indicates that if the man recognizes what is necessary to
meet those standards, and if the man cares enough, he will hold you in
greater esteem than if you simply present yourself openly for him to use
in satisfying his appetites.
A FORM OF PROSTITUTION, LOOSE MORALS CHEAPEN A RELATIONSHIP
This Awareness indicates that there has been a great loosening of morality
and standards of behaviour because of the contraceptives and the attitudes
of entities, and this has diminished the significance and importance of
developing a relationship before becoming involved in the intimate acts of
love.
This Awareness indicates that it has cheapened the acts of love to the
same level as prostitution, wherein the entity may not even offer herself
for two dollars or five dollars, or fifty or even a hundred dollars, but
may offer herself for a good evening on the town, and a lot of praise and
compliments and a promise or two for future encores, so that the entity
feels, "Oh, I now have myself a man. He’s coming back next week, and we
can do it all again."
This Awareness indicates that the entity might as well set a price and
acknowledge that they are simply prostituting themselves for the good time
of the night out on the town. This Awareness indicates that from the point
of view of the man, it is simply another ego expression. The man might say
to himself, "I would never go to a prostitute. I would never pay a woman
for sex, when all I have to do is buy her drinks and say the right words
to her, murmuring in her ear about her beauty and about my love for her.
Why should I pay fifty or a hundred dollars. when I can have her for
twenty dollars worth of drinks and a few gentle kind words and promises?"
This Awareness indicates that it is simply another form of prostituting
oneself for a good time. This Awareness indicates that when entities begin
to realize this, that they are not really much above the level of a
prostitute, they might have a different attitude toward the quick easy
relationship, so that they are more cautious, more careful about whom they
relate to, how soon, and why they are giving themselves so fully to this
person who is essentially but a stranger to them.
Do they really know this entity just because they have had a meal or a few
drinks, or watched a movie with the entity? Do they know anything about
this entity? This Awareness indicates it is not much different from the
relationship that prostitute might have toward a man, who is willing to
give her a certain amount of his earnings for such satisfaction as he
desires, but most women do not think they are prostituting themselves with
a quick, cheap easy relationship. They think instead: "This is the
beginning of a great romance! This is the beginning of a lifetime of
happiness for me! This is the person who will fulfill my needs throughout
this lifetime!"
This Awareness indicates they delude themselves with drink, with
deception, with confusion, and dreams, and they think they are in love,
but they find themselves having, in the back of their mind, a feeling of
uncertainty and insecurity, and they hope things work out, and when things
don’t work out, they seem to be extremely surprised. "How could he have
treated me like that? I was so good to him. What could I have done to make
him love me more?"
IN THE REALMS OF LOVE, THINK IN TERMS OF INVESTMENT
This Awareness indicates that you might have been a little more reserved.
Perhaps by being a little more reserved, the entity would have invested
more in you and therefore, held you as a greater prize because the
investment required more from him. This Awareness indicates that it is
important in the realm of love to think in terms of investment. How much
has an entity invested in you? How much have you invested in that entity?
This Awareness indicates whoever invests the most is the one who has the
most to lose, and whoever invests the most emotionally, or in terms of
risking their lives for the other and their energies for the other, has
the most to lose and expects the most to gain, but does not necessarily
have the assurances of any gain whatsoever.
If you give your heart, you are investing in someone: the person to whom
you have given your heart to. If you give your love, you are investing in
that entity. Would you invest your money in such an entity who might be
simply a con man? Yet, entities think that by investing their virtue,
their lives, their energies, their heart, their love, they are somehow
controlling the situations so that the investment will reward them in some
manner.
This Awareness indicates that you think carefully about investments in
other people/ Are they really worthy of those investments? Have you really
anything to secure your investment with? Are they a secure vessel for you
investment? Would you take your money from the bank and meet someone on
the street, have a few drinks, go to a party, a movie, and then invest
your money in that person, ask them: "Would you take care of my money I
had in the bank until the bank opens on Monday? Would you hold this for
me?" Yet entities will invest their heart, their very lives into the
keeping of someone whom they hardly know.
THE PURPOSE OF MARRIAGE IS A MUTUAL CONTRACT
This Awareness indicates the purpose of marriage is to serve as a contract
between two parties who are willing to invest their lives into the keeping
of the other, and for them to reach that stage of marriage they have to
know eack other quite well. In earlier times, entities would ‘go steady,’
which meant they would be together quite often, see each other quite often
and relate quite frequently, or they would get engaged, which meant they
would commit themselves to a trial relationship to see whether or not it
could lead to a more permanent relationship called marriage.
This Awareness indicates that this was a way of gradually developing a
relationship between entities without either being totally committed to
the other until there was some clear recognition of each others’
integrity, of each others respect for one another. This Awareness
indicates that it doesn’t matter whether someone respects you or not;it
only makes a difference if you have invested in that person. If you have
not yet invested in the person, then don’t worry if they respect you or
don’t respect you.
Once you have given something in the keeping of another, you want them to
respect you. When you give yourself intimately to someone who respects
you, then you have a relationship, but until you know whether that entity
respects you, you have no business giving them anything of value to you.
If you give yourself to someone who does not respect you, you may have
lost whatever you have given. If it is your heart, your love, your
emotion, or your body, then you may lose something of great importance to
yourself.
This Awareness indicates in other words, you should never be surprised
that someone has used you and didn’t respect you. You should rather wait
and find out if they respect you before you let them have anything of
value, and then you will not be surprised. This Awareness indicates that
it is simply a matter of whether your relationships are cheap and
meaningless or whether they are precious and of great quality through
mutual respect that has grown prior to giving yourself totally to another.
This Awareness indicates that it is for this reason that many religions
advocate no sex outside of marriage. This Awareness would add that
marriages are of different types. The use of the state marriage licenses
is that which has been introduced only within the last century. This
Awareness indicates prior to the state license, marriages occurred within
the church, often within a tribe, and sometimes as common law marriages,
but there was that which was a commitment.
The commitment being that which was a lifetime commitment on the part of
the two before the entities would engage in sexual behaviour, so that even
the common law marriages did not simply happen from meeting and coming
together within a few days for sexual relationship which then led to
repeated relationships of an intimate nature.
Most of the common law marriages of the past had to do with entities
getting to know each other long enough to where they entrusted their lives
to the other with full awareness that the other was trustworthy. When you
have a trustworthy relationship, then the nature of intimate sexual
relationships becomes much more meaningful than simply a close encounter
of the love type.
THE CLOSE ENCOUNTER OF THE LOVE TYPE
This Awareness indicates that the close encounter of the love type is but
a pseudo-relationship. It is one in which entities pretend they have a
relationship. They haven’t even yet come to know each other, and
therefore, they are simply pretending love.
What Would a Constructive Male Model Be Like?
(HOW CAN WOMEN GAIN POWER WITHOUT BEING DESTRUCTIVE?)
Question:
Another question from this lady. She writes: "I recently read that only
6.7% of the world prison population is female, and many of them are in for
assaulting or murdering abusive spouses and boyfriends. In the overall
picture of relationships between countries, races, men and nature, men and
women, men and men; the male energy is on a massive path of destruction,
while the female seems suppressed, subverted and powerless.
What are some of the ways women can become powerful and help bring balance
to the planet without following the destructive male model? And what would
a constructive male model look like? I’d like to visualize that!", she
says.
Cosmic Awareness:
This Awareness indicates that the male hormone testosterone is that which
tends to make men more aggressive, more assertive, and consequently more
violent in nature, whereas the female hormone, estrogen, which is the
dominant hormone in females, tends to make them more nurturing in their
expression.
This Awareness indicates that as women age, their testosterone becomes
more dominant, and as men age, the testosterone becomes diminished so that
men become more mellow with age, and women become more dominant with age.
This Awareness indicates that this can have an effect on relationships, to
give them a different kind of balance than those relationships of younger
entities.
WHY SOME WOMEN SHOULD HAVE AN OLDER MAN
This Awareness indicates that the younger females are much more compliant
and much more responsive to the male energies, whereas the male energies
of the younger men are much more demanding, much more aggressive. This
Awareness indicates that it is for this reason that sometimes the better
relationship for entities occurs with the woman having an older man who is
less demanding, particularly if the woman is approaching an age wherein
her own testosterone begins to assert itself, giving her a greater
assertiveness.
This Awareness indicates that It would suggest that younger people be much
more hesitant to marry because the relationships will be more likely to
have the extreme dominance of the masculine energy and the more recessive
passiveness of the female energy, which can result in abusive husbands
over the lives of their recessive wives. This Awareness indicates those
instances in which the wife strikes back at her abusive husband may come
after years and years of suffering.
This Awareness indicates that unfortunately, this kind of aging change
that occurs is not likely to be a solution for dealing with the
male/female relationship, because the younger people have their drives,
their appetites for love, their need for being in relationships. It begins
quite early in the early teens, even with puberty, and becomes stronger as
time passes until they have reached into the more mature levels of the
thirties and the forties.
This Awareness indicates that the energies that these entities need to be
understood in terms of how to deal with these energies and it is important
to realize that men, being assertive and active with their hormonal
drives, are more likely to take action when confronted with an urgency,
whereas the women may be more inclined to talk about the problem and may
want the husband to talk to them about this or that situation.
This may be their solution for dealing with the problem:expressing
themselves verbally. But men tend to want to express themselves physically
in terms of activity, in terms of action and decisions. This Awareness
indicates that when women realize this is the male answer to a problem,
they may find it important to put the male energy to work, rather than to
simply unload their emotions through talk, through discussions, and
therefore, by putting the man’s energies to work, they may find that the
man becomes more appreciative and useful to the woman.
TRY TO FIND SOMETHING YOU CAN PRAISE THE MAN FOR
Most men will do anything they can to please the woman of their choice,
but if they cannot please her, they become extremely agitated and upset,
even angry with her. Therefore, it is important for women to give the man
something that he can do that she will feel comfortable about praising him
for. She needs to let him know how pleased she is with what he has done.
This will improve the relationship considerably.
This Awareness indicates that the man needs to be appreciated for what he
does. The woman needs to be respected for her needs and for the things she
says. She needs to be acknowledged. It doesn’t mean that the man has to
satisfy her every complaint, but it does mean that the man has to hear her
every complaint, has to listen to her every complaint and express an
understanding and sympathy in her behalf.
This Awareness indicates if the man can express his recognition of her
complaint, if he can acknowledge her needs, and if he can recognize what
her feelings are and respect her feelings, then she is satisfied. If she
can acknowledge his efforts to satisfy her, she can recognize his worth in
the things he does in her behalf, then he is satisfied. He will be very
pleased if he can please her.
DON’T TRY TO PLEASE A MAN UNLESS HE REQUESTS IT
This Awareness indicates too often the woman tries to please the man
without any request on his part. She will do things for him and then feel
that because he did not seem to appreciate her, because he ignored her, he
is not recognizing what she has done for him, and she may become very
upset.
If she complains to him that she has cleaned the house, she has done all
this for him, and he did not recognize her and he just turns her off and
says, "So what are you complaining about! I go to work, I do this, I do
that, for you!";there is a breakdown in communication, but if she can
realize that her voluntary help or assistance to him is not of great
importance to him;that what is truly of importance to him is her
appreciation of what he does for her, and not so much that he recognizes
her efforts toward pleasing him; then he will be more satisfied.
And for her point, if he can listen to her complaints, acknowledging that
she has good reason to be upset with him because she had done all of this
work; cooking his meals, cleaning his home and so forth,(even though she
may not have noticed that he worked all week in her behalf); then if he
can acknowledge her complaints as being legitimate, she will be satisfied.
This Awareness indicates that these are key elements in a good
relationship, in helping each other to feel better about themselves and
toward each other. This Awareness indicates that there are many areas
wherein entities need to listen not so much to what each other says, but
what they are saying behind their actions and behind their words.
The man who works at a tough job all week feels he is doing this because
he loves his wife. But does she recognize that this is an expression of
love? Often she will only see an expression of love if he says to her: "I
really love you, dear!" This Awareness indicates that she needs to
recognize his activity is an expression of love. He needs to recognize
that her need is to hear him say it, not only in action, but in words
also.
This Awareness indicates if he can give her those little strokes and words
of love several times daily, she will be happy, and if she can acknowledge
and recognize his efforts in his work, his lifetime dedication as a means
of providing for her, then he will be happy in continuing his occupation,
for even though the man is perhaps working at some job that enhances his
self-esteem, in most cases, the man is actually doing it all for the
benefit for his family, particularly of his wife, and does indeed need to
know that she appreciates his efforts.
Does One Take On An Abusive Persons’ Karma If They Seek Justice and Not
Revenge?
Question:
One last question from Jane. Actually there’s two questions in it. She
writes: "I was told by a friend that when a person finds themselves in an
abusive relationship, they must find a way to ‘justice’ not revenge, or
they’ll take on some of the abusive person’s bad karma and keep being
taken advantage of. Is this true, or are we just supposed to get the
abusive person out of our lives and "turn the other cheek," letting the
forces of karma work in their own way and time?
"I’ve tried to find some justice in the legal system without any success."
Cosmic Awareness:
This Awareness indicates if you are in an abusive relationship, then you
must do whatever is possible to extract yourself from that relationship
without creating greater karma in the process. This Awareness indicates in
other words, if you can extract yourself without causing the other entity
to suffer, such a revengeful act of destruction to the other entity, it is
better than creating a karmic debt because of the abusive relationship.
AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP IS ALREADY A KARMIC RELATIONSHIP
This Awareness indicates that essentially, an abusive relationship is
already a karmic relationship. The entity who is the victim of the abuse
has, for some reason, allowed the perpetrator of the abuse to develop a
control over the victim, and this has contributed to the karmic balance
that is the abusive relationship. Thus, the victim is not always totally
innocent, because the victim may have let things get out of hand to the
point wherein the perpetrator felt he had the right to abuse the other.
If that entity being abused had made a stand early in the relationship, it
may never have developed to that point where it now allows the
perpetrator/abuser to abuse the victim. This Awareness indicates in other
words, if you are going to develop a relationship in which one is dominant
and the other is recessive, the recessive person has to play the role of
the abused before that relationship can fully develop.
In other words, if someone is going to kick someone while they are down,
the one entity has to get down first, in order to be kicked. If the entity
refuses to lie down and be kicked, then there can be a struggle and a
conflict, but in most cases, the abuser is not going to welcome or indulge
in a fight to get the abused to play the victim, if the victim fights too
hard to avoid that role.
THE SADO/MASOCHISTIC RELATIONSHIP
This Awareness indicates that in other words, people tend to fall into
playing the role. One person may be psychologically dominant, more
assertive, and the other person begins to try to please. Gradually, that
effort to please becomes more and more strong until the dominant person
becomes more and more dominant and eventually, the dominant person becomes
over-assertive and highly aggressive, and the one trying to please becomes
ever-more catering and demeaned by the situation so that the person
becomes a victim of the dominance.
It grows gradually. It does not suddenly appear. The sado-masochistic
relationship is not usually that which appears from the beginning: "Hey! I
am a masochist!" "Well! That’s interesting! I am a sadist! Let’s get
together and have a sado/masochistic relationship!" This is not the way
these things develop.
This Awareness indicates that in other words, there is a kind of
development based on mutual consent, mutual agreement, that leads to these
abusive situations. This Awareness indicates that if entities have
self-respect, they will not allow themselves to fall into these
circumstances.
This Awareness indicates of course there are exceptions to this, such as
situations in which some entities are given so much power over others that
the ones who are the victim of the situation have little choice. This
could happen, for example, in a situation of war-time or in a prison
situation, or, for example, wherein there are entities armed and powerful
and entities who are disarmed and weak.
The elderly, the weak, the child, already in a relationship with someone
who is overly powerful and has an attitude of being assertive and abusive,
can create the relationship immediately, so that it does not depend on
mutual consent of the child agreeing to be victimized. There are
exceptions in this sense. This Awareness indicates however, there are many
such relationships that develop over time, and therefore, the abused is
simply asking for it, because they do not stop or stand up for their
rights.
This Awareness suggests that if you are in a relationship that is becoming
abusive, the sooner you break that cycle, the sooner you get out of it,
the better your chances of getting free before suffering too much damage.
The longer it goes, the more you tend to fall into the role of the abused,
and the greater will be the abuse over periods of time.
This Awareness indicates that often it becomes essential for entities to
get outside help because they may not be able to extract themselves from
the abusive relationship without some kind of help. This Awareness
indicates that it may even be dangerous to try to extract themselves
without some kind of external help, and it is important that the help be
really dedicated and meaningful rather than simply complaining to someone
who talks to the abuser and then goes away because they don’t want to get
involved. This can lead the abuser to become even more abusive to the
victim.
This Awareness suggests that if the question was not completely answered,
that it should be repeated.
Questioner:
I think it was pretty well covered. I’ll repeat it. Jane writes: "I was
told by a friend that when a person finds themselves in an abusive
relationship, they must find a way to ‘justice’ not revenge, or they’ll
take on some of the abusive person’s bad karma and keep being taken
advantage of. Is this true, or are we just supposed to get the abusive
person out of our lives and "turn the other cheek," letting the forces of
karma work in their own way and time?"
Cosmic Awareness:
This Awareness indicates that getting revenge is not the appropriate way.
Getting justice can also be a form of revenge. Getting free is the more
important choice, even though it may leave that entity also free to
continue his abusive actions toward others or to return at some point and
perpetrate further abuse on the entity. But justice is that which, if
properly sought and found, can be a solution for both the victim and the
perpetrator of the abuse. Justice being that which is within the concept
of social laws or Universal Laws or Karmic Laws.
This Awareness indicates that obviously, you cannot always control these
laws, therefore, it is more difficult to get justice when are in a
weakened position. It would be better for all if justice was found, but
because it is so often difficult to receive proper justice, the main goal
for many such entities would be to simply get free from the entity
perpetrating the abuse.
This Awareness indicates that many of the women if prison for having
harmed their abuser is the result of their seeking revenge. In some cases,
however, some of these women are in prison for harming the abuser when all
they wanted was to get free of the abuse, and their method of freeing
themselves may have led to violence toward the abuser, yet they may be
suffering from a karmic or legal justice that is perhaps unfair to the
victim of the abuse, but which also may be the result of the karma from
the residue of the relationship which they extracted themselves from.
This Awareness indicates that any rate, they are free from the abuse of
the relationship. Even if they find themselves in a prison, many will be
appreciative for the peace in the prison, rather than having to remain in
the abusive relationship. This Awareness indicates in other words, it is
better if entities can avoid violence toward the abuser, but in some cases
it appears entities feel the need to be violent in order to become free of
the abuse and may suffer some consequence for that choice.
Last Updated: 3-14-97
Copyright 1997 by Cosmic Awareness Communications & the Aquarian Church of
Universal Service.
Reprinted by Michael Hanna